Oct

29

In the debate about proposition 8, (gay rights and the proposed same-sex marriage) there is one point that is of the greatest importance but that is always overlooked by the proponents of same-sex marriage:  children needs.

Research shows that children need two parents and that there are specific benefits coming from having a mother and a father instead than two mothers or two fathers.

In short, we believe that a central question in the so-called same-sex marriage debate is whether or not we collectively and legally want to promote a culture of parenting founded on parents rights or one grounded in children’s needs (Marquardt, 2006; Sugrue, 2006). From our vantage point, just because a parent desires it, does not mean a child needs it. (Carrol, J. and Dollahite, D., 2008, Who’s my daddy? in What’s the Harm? University Press of America).

According to Carroll and Dollahite,

Similar to other aspects of family-wellbeing in the United States (e.g., economic prosperity), father-child relationships today are marked by two contrasting trends that lead to strikingly divergent life experiences for men and their children. On the one hand, many American children are growing up with high levels of connection to their fathers as they benefit from a culture that has historically high expectations for men’s involvement in the everyday lives of their children…

However, despite increased norms for father involvement, the last generation has also witnessed the rise of ambiguous fatherhood in America. Many of the historical supports that have traditionally preserved men’s involvement in their children’s lives have been eroding for a large portion of contemporary families. Historically high rates of non-marital cohabitation, out-of-wedlock childbirth, and marital divorce (McLanahan, 2004) have dramatically altered the landscape of fathering, leaving unprecedented numbers of children growing up with uncertain or non-existent relationships with their fathers. While these demographic trends have changed family life in general within the United States, these contextual changes have been particularly grim for father-child relationships which have been found to be more sensitive than mother-child relationships to contextual forces and supports (Doherty et al., 1998; Hawkins, Amato, & King, 2006).

This negative trend toward ambiguous fatherhood would get a tremendous impulse if same-sex marriage is approved. These are the conclusions from the same book chapter:

1. A change in the definition of marriage will inherently alter the definition of parenthood in our society.
2. Our collective and legal definitions of fatherhood should be based on the generative needs of children. Simply put, our primary concern should be children’s needs, not adults’ rights or desires.
3. The overwhelming conclusion of more than two decades of social science research on father-child relationships is that father involvement is extremely sensitive to contextual factors. In particular, research shows that for most men, marriage and fatherhood are a package deal. Thus, fathering outside of the context of a committed marriage relationship that involves shared residential living with a child is a fragile arrangement at best for fostering generative father-child relationships.
4. As a social institution, marriage has traditionally been defined so as to provide a natural mechanism to provide for the widely held cultural ideal that children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony and to be raised by the father and mother who gave them life. This persistent core value of kin altruism is at the center of our society’s definition of marriage and parenthood.
Grounded in these perspectives, it is our contention that providing legal sanction of same-sex partnerships would increase the number of children raised in settings of ambiguous fatherhood; thus exposing a greater number of children to the risks of poor or non-existent father involvement.

The negative consequences would not only occur in direct ways but also in indirect ways. In fact,

Children raised by same-sex couples will inherently experience ambiguous father-child relationships due to the fact that they, by definition, lack a marriage between a child’s two biological parents. In short, same-sex parenting requires the intentional disregard for kin altruism as the entitlement of children and the best environment to foster the best interests of children.

The above quote refers to direct ways in which same-sex marriage will foster ambiguous parenthood. But even among heterosexual men the legalization of same-sex marriage would foster the rise of ambiguous fatherhood:

Instruction and policy in various public settings (e.g., educational, political, judicial) would be required to advocate the equality of all social arrangements for the rearing of children even though a large body of social science research belies this idea. Altering the legal definition of marriage would further erode the societal recognition that fathers matter to children. As this occurs, two primary mechanisms will increase the ambiguity of fatherhood for children, men and society.

First, the rise of a “self-defined parenting paradigm” that equates single-mothers and lesbian couples with two biological parents in meeting the developmental needs of children threatens to further disenfranchise men from family life and weakens social norms discouraging divorce and non-marital childbearing…

A second way that the legalization of same-sex partnerships would further the rise of ambiguous fatherhood is that it would support a retreat from fatherhood altogether among some American men. One aspect of a self-defined parenting ideology in society is the option of not being a parent at all. If fathering is not a cultural ideal, the potential exists for an increase in men who live outside marriage and parenthood altogether. Given the data on the negative social consequences of a large number of unmarried men (e.g., higher rates of crime and other anti-social behavior), we should be very cautious about a parenting culture that suggests that men can be viewed as “sperm donors” who’s only essential “parenting role” is conception and then women can do it alone, either as single parents or as a lesbian couple. The loss of a cultural ideal for men to become responsible fathers could lead to increased numbers of men and children who live in non-generative contexts.

Oct

14

These are a couple of very good videos about the importance of voting yes for proposition 8.

Young adults from California discuss their involvement in preserving traditional marriage.


Elder David A. Bednar and a group of young adults from California discuss Proposition 8.

Oct

9

Yesterday a friend told me that he found something interesting about me at this website:

newyorktimesbestsellerlist.org

If we scroll down we can find one very nice video about the conversion story of brother Ott Dameron (my good neighbor)

and my own conversion story. The funny thing for my friend was that they titled my video by saying

Watch The founder of More Good Foundation, from Italy:

I have been working for the More Good Foundation from the beginning, and I am still doing it, but the real founder is David Neeleman, the famous Mormon, the same person who founded JetBlue and now Azul, in Brazil.

In any case, the website also call the Prophet, president Gordon B. Hinckley,

Revered President Hinckley…

We do not call “reverend” our prophets, but what is important is that they provided a great link to a very good video, where President Hinckley shares his testimony

Oct

8

It is a very troubling time for the US economy. This is a recent comment from the “money expert” Suze Orman:

We have built an entire economy on lies and deceit…It’s like building a home or an entire building on a sinkhole. You have a foundation, supposedly. But a little crack, if something goes wrong — a little earthquake, a tremor — and it starts to open, everything starts to fall down and … that is exactly what has happened in the United States of America.

Suze says the current financial downturn started all the way at the top of banks, mortgage companies and brokerage firms.

There was greed at the top — serious greed…When you have stocks, you have individual companies that want to make money. And CEOs want to make more money because the more money they make, the more their compensation is, the more their stock price goes up.

These companies made money by selling investments like mortgages to people who couldn’t afford them, Suze says (link to full article)

But is there a relationship between faith and church attendance and losing our homes? It probably depends on where we go to church and also how well we listen when we are there. According to an article on Time there may be some connection:

Has the so-called Prosperity gospel turned its followers into some of the most willing participants — and hence, victims — of the current financial crisis? That’s what a scholar of the fast-growing brand of Pentecostal Christianity believes. While researching a book on black televangelism, says Jonathan Walton, a religion professor at the University of California at Riverside, he realized that Prosperity’s central promise — that God will “make a way” for poor people to enjoy the better things in life — had developed an additional, dangerous expression during the subprime-lending boom. Walton says that this encouraged congregants who got dicey mortgages to believe “God caused the bank to ignore my credit score and blessed me with my first house.” The results, he says, “were disastrous, because they pretty much turned parishioners into prey for greedy brokers.”

I am sure that among Pentecostal and other religious groups not all were “turning parishioners into prey for greedy brokers”, but I am glad that in the Mormon church, Mormon Prophets have always been clear about avoiding debts and living within our means. Those Mormons who did or do otherwise cannot blame their leaders, but only themselves, because this message of frugality has been preached over and over again. However, I believe that most members of the Mormon church have followed the inspired counsels of their leaders and are ready for the troubles. It is a blessing to have leaders that are inspired and that receive revelations for out times.

This is a link to the videos of the last Mormon General Conference

Oct

4

During the opening Saturday session of the 178th Semiannual General Conference, convened in the Conference Center, Mormon Church President Thomas S. Monson announced five new temples will be built in coming years.

Currently, 128 temples are in operation, and today’s announcement brings the number of announced temples to 17. Once completed, the new temples will bring the worldwide total to 145.

The Rome Italy Temple will be the first to be constructed in the region where historic Christianity originated. It will serve church members from a variety of countries and greatly reduce travel time and expense to the Latter-day Saints living in the area, the release states.

The announcement of a mormon temple in Rome brought an audible gasp and smiles to more than 20,000 church members assembled in the Conference Center.

As an Italian who was baptized more than 20 years ago in Italy I cannot avoid feeling extremely happy and excited for this new development.

Jul

11

Elder Ballard suggested that members of the Church of Jesus Christ (Mormon Church) should write a blog and express their feelings about being a member of the Church to invite others to share of the blessing of the Gospel.

But what is a Blog?

Blog is short for “web log.” A blog is a Web site, maintained by an individual or organization, with regular entries of commentary, descriptions of events, or other media such as graphics and video. You can start a blog about anything that interests you. For example, blog.giuseppemartinengo.com is my blog in English, and giuseppemartinengo.org is my blog in Italian, while giuseppemartinengo.net is my blog in Portuguese.

There are many other great blogs on the internet about the Mormon Church (or LDS Church), such as LDSblogs.com, mormanity.org, blog.moregoodfoundation.org and so on.  You can create a blog that is open to anyone to read, or you can restrict who can read your blog.

Why should you start a blog?
You should start a blog to share your ideas, beliefs, and insights. You don’t have to be an expert on a topic to blog. Blogging is also a great way to share your own personal testimony and to teach people about the Church by telling them what it’s like on the inside. It’s also a lot of fun. When speaking to students at BYU-Hawaii, Elder Ballard said, “Most of you already know that if you have access to the Internet you can start a blog in minutes and begin sharing what you know to be true.”

Is blogging difficult?
It can be as easy or hard as you want to make it. Setting up a blog is very easy. Writing regular blog posts is the tough part. It you really want a high-quality blog, you need to be committed to post often to keep people reading. If you decide to begin a blog about the gospel, schedule regular times each week.

Where do I begin?
You can sign up for a free blog at LDS.net or on blogging sites like WordPress.com and Blogger.com. If you’re interested in starting a blog using your own domain name (your own Web address), you can get one at those sites, or contact the More Good Foundation for help.

Below is a short video in plain English about blogs. I really like this simple video and I used it for the first time last January when I was teaching a marriage preparation class at BYU, a few weeks after Elder Ballard gave his now “famous” talk at BYU-Hawaii.

Jun

18

Yesterday I went to Manti, Utah and watched the Mormon Miracle Pageants. Before the performance started, I noticed these people from other faiths with their signs about the Bible or other websites, usually against the Mormon Church.

Usually I avoid them, but this time I decided to talk with a couple of them. It was an interesting experience. All of them insisted on salvation by grace. They have a hard time to understand or accept a simple and even logical concept as that of progression. The have an all-or-nothing attitude. Or you are saved or you are damned, or you believe or you do not, or you pay tithing or you do not. They do not understand or they do not want to understand degrees. Also, they want something simple and easy. Jesus does everything for you.

They do not get the big picture and insist on words or specific scriptures trying to prove their point. I know that discussing religion with them is almost useless, but I tried to understand them. There was another one who was only yelling, trying to be like Samuel the Lamanite. I could not even talk to him, he just kept yelling and really nobody was listening to him, he should have tried with a megaphone.

There were also a father and a son. The father left the LDS Church after going unworthily to the Temple when he was 18, according to his own words. His parents are still active in the Church, but his son was with him trying to convert Mormons….

I told his son that because his father left the Church he was losing the blessing of the temple and he told me that “Mormons do terrible things in the temple, they do baptisms for the dead”… When he said that I did not know if I should laugh or cry. I thought about his father. He went to the Temple at least once and he knows that we do not do “terrible things”, but his choices have “terrible” consequences in the lives of his family and his posterity. As a convert I am particularly sad when I see people who were born in the Church break the progression of their families. I think how sad must be his parents.

For some reason when he was 18 he gave up. Why? At one point he told me that it is hard for some people to keep the commandments. I had the impression he was trying to tell me that he prefers his new doctrine because there is really no effort or possible failure implied.

According to his doctrine, you accept Jesus and you are saved, while in the Mormon Church you are taught that you need to fight against your nature to follow the commandments and keep improving your life (even after accepting Jesus). He probably felt unworthy when he was 18 and he gave up. He was inactive for many years and then a few years ago he was “saved” by some Protestant group. He wishes it was that easy. But it is not. On the other hand, it is not impossible and it is not just for a few special people, but all men and women can qualify for the true salvation. However, it requires humility and perseverance: true salvation is a process not a single event.

During the performance it was remembered how important is to let people know the true principles of the gospel, because when the true doctrine is not known and practiced, human being have the tendency to fall into transgression and entire societies may end up being destroyed, as it happened with the ancient Nephites.

While there I have thought again about the power of the Internet. How important is for us to explain true principles to all mankind,

“teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost: Teaching them to observe all things…(Matthew 28:19-20)

Jun

12

I have found something really interesting, called “The Baptist Version of The Book of Mormon - Protestant Doctrines within the Book of Mormon” by Lynn Ridenhour, a Southern Baptist Minister.

It is an amazing article. I am copying it here because I do not want to see it disappear in the future from the internet, but I recognize his authorship and commend it for what he did and his sincerity.

This is his article that currently can be found at http://www.centerplace.org/library/bofm/baptistversionofbofm.htm

“I’m a licensed Southern Baptist minister and I embrace the Book of Mormon.

That is, I believe the truths recorded in it. No, I’m not a convert to the Mormon faith, nor am I a member of any particular “spin-off” restoration group such as the RLDS (Reorganized Latter-day Saints), Hedrikites, or Strangites. I’m still a Baptist minister. To be exact, I’m “charismatic Baptist.” That is, I still embrace the “born again” experience. I still believe you’re saved by grace. By the shed blood of Christ. Salvation is by faith alone in His finished work on Calvary. I still believe in the Baptism in the Holy Spirit and the gifts of the Spirit. I believe and embrace those cardinal doctrines of Protestantism.

And you know what?…

I still believe the Book of Mormon too! Read more

Jun

10

Another great video from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mormon Church), finally telling the true story about the priesthood and the black people in the Church.

Too much has been said that was wrong. This is a great video for those who honestly seek for the truth. For those who do not seek the truth… anotehr missed opportunity…

May

28

Similarly to the previous video, which was based on the testimonies of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, this second amazing video includes the testimonies of the members of the First Presidency of the Mormon Church, President Monson, President Eyring, and president Ucthdorf. Enjoy it, it is great! I know that they are prophets of God.

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