Oct
31
Prop 8 Civil Rights and Judges
October 31, 2008 | Leave a Comment
Dee Garrett discusses the Civil Rights battle that she went through and how it doesn’t compare to the same sex marriage battle going on today. She mentions how same-sex marriage has an influence – a negative influence – on children.
Oct
29
Gay rights or children needs?
October 29, 2008 | 2 Comments
In the debate about proposition 8, (gay rights and the proposed same-sex marriage) there is one point that is of the greatest importance but that is always overlooked by the proponents of same-sex marriage: children needs.
Research shows that children need two parents and that there are specific benefits coming from having a mother and a father instead than two mothers or two fathers.
In short, we believe that a central question in the so-called same-sex marriage debate is whether or not we collectively and legally want to promote a culture of parenting founded on parents rights or one grounded in children’s needs (Marquardt, 2006; Sugrue, 2006). From our vantage point, just because a parent desires it, does not mean a child needs it. (Carrol, J. and Dollahite, D., 2008, Who’s my daddy? in What’s the Harm? University Press of America).
According to Carroll and Dollahite,
Similar to other aspects of family-wellbeing in the United States (e.g., economic prosperity), father-child relationships today are marked by two contrasting trends that lead to strikingly divergent life experiences for men and their children. On the one hand, many American children are growing up with high levels of connection to their fathers as they benefit from a culture that has historically high expectations for men’s involvement in the everyday lives of their children…
However, despite increased norms for father involvement, the last generation has also witnessed the rise of ambiguous fatherhood in America. Many of the historical supports that have traditionally preserved men’s involvement in their children’s lives have been eroding for a large portion of contemporary families. Historically high rates of non-marital cohabitation, out-of-wedlock childbirth, and marital divorce (McLanahan, 2004) have dramatically altered the landscape of fathering, leaving unprecedented numbers of children growing up with uncertain or non-existent relationships with their fathers. While these demographic trends have changed family life in general within the United States, these contextual changes have been particularly grim for father-child relationships which have been found to be more sensitive than mother-child relationships to contextual forces and supports (Doherty et al., 1998; Hawkins, Amato, & King, 2006).
This negative trend toward ambiguous fatherhood would get a tremendous impulse if same-sex marriage is approved. These are the conclusions from the same book chapter:
1. A change in the definition of marriage will inherently alter the definition of parenthood in our society.
2. Our collective and legal definitions of fatherhood should be based on the generative needs of children. Simply put, our primary concern should be children’s needs, not adults’ rights or desires.
3. The overwhelming conclusion of more than two decades of social science research on father-child relationships is that father involvement is extremely sensitive to contextual factors. In particular, research shows that for most men, marriage and fatherhood are a package deal. Thus, fathering outside of the context of a committed marriage relationship that involves shared residential living with a child is a fragile arrangement at best for fostering generative father-child relationships.
4. As a social institution, marriage has traditionally been defined so as to provide a natural mechanism to provide for the widely held cultural ideal that children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony and to be raised by the father and mother who gave them life. This persistent core value of kin altruism is at the center of our society’s definition of marriage and parenthood.
Grounded in these perspectives, it is our contention that providing legal sanction of same-sex partnerships would increase the number of children raised in settings of ambiguous fatherhood; thus exposing a greater number of children to the risks of poor or non-existent father involvement.
The negative consequences would not only occur in direct ways but also in indirect ways. In fact,
Children raised by same-sex couples will inherently experience ambiguous father-child relationships due to the fact that they, by definition, lack a marriage between a child’s two biological parents. In short, same-sex parenting requires the intentional disregard for kin altruism as the entitlement of children and the best environment to foster the best interests of children.
The above quote refers to direct ways in which same-sex marriage will foster ambiguous parenthood. But even among heterosexual men the legalization of same-sex marriage would foster the rise of ambiguous fatherhood:
Instruction and policy in various public settings (e.g., educational, political, judicial) would be required to advocate the equality of all social arrangements for the rearing of children even though a large body of social science research belies this idea. Altering the legal definition of marriage would further erode the societal recognition that fathers matter to children. As this occurs, two primary mechanisms will increase the ambiguity of fatherhood for children, men and society.
First, the rise of a “self-defined parenting paradigm” that equates single-mothers and lesbian couples with two biological parents in meeting the developmental needs of children threatens to further disenfranchise men from family life and weakens social norms discouraging divorce and non-marital childbearing…
A second way that the legalization of same-sex partnerships would further the rise of ambiguous fatherhood is that it would support a retreat from fatherhood altogether among some American men. One aspect of a self-defined parenting ideology in society is the option of not being a parent at all. If fathering is not a cultural ideal, the potential exists for an increase in men who live outside marriage and parenthood altogether. Given the data on the negative social consequences of a large number of unmarried men (e.g., higher rates of crime and other anti-social behavior), we should be very cautious about a parenting culture that suggests that men can be viewed as “sperm donors” who’s only essential “parenting role” is conception and then women can do it alone, either as single parents or as a lesbian couple. The loss of a cultural ideal for men to become responsible fathers could lead to increased numbers of men and children who live in non-generative contexts.
Oct
27
Luca’s mission connects me with my past
October 27, 2008 | Leave a Comment
Luca’s mission in Massachusetts keeps having consequences in connecting me again with my past, the time when I was first baptized as a member of the Mormon Church in Italy, long time ago…
In a previous blog I mentioned how he helped me to reconnect with the missionary, Elder Burton, who first found me in Italy.
Now, through the same James Burton, I got a picture of Emanuele Smorta, who was baptized just a few months before me in Asti, Italy, and who was one of my first good friend in the Church. I remember him exactly the way it looks in this picture, but I suspect that currently he looks a little older…
Emanuele Smorta and Elder Burton
Oct
22
Luca, in his mission, found the son of the missionary who found me…
October 22, 2008 | 2 Comments
Elder Luca Martinengo and Elder Burton, the Younger
This is really a very interesting experience that happened to my son, Luca, while in his Mormon mission in Boston, Massachussetts. He found the son of the missionary who found me more than 20 years ago in Italy.
These are Luca’s words to me in one of his recent emails (in parenthesis are my comments to help understand what Luca is implying)
I don’t know why I had it, but it was interesting and a testimony builder to me… this is what happened…
I had asked you to give me Forbes’ email (Forbes is one of the two missionaries who taught me the gospel more than 20 years ago in Italy) and you did so. That week I wrote to Forbes and asked him to tell me a little bit of the story about how they found you in Italy and what happened… Forbes wrote back the following week and I read the email kinda fast, printed and put it in a backpack, not really paying much attention to it.
Well, I usually pray every morning to find out what the Lord wants me to study and for some weird reason I was not getting any idea, I did not get my answer, so I got frustrated and just almost gave up, until a thought came upon me, to open my backpack and look at what was inside, which I did and I found that email from Forbes. Then I felt inspired to pull out your conversion story that I had printed from the internet, so I decided to read those 2 papers.
I think I read your conversion story first, then I went and read Forbes’ email, and I read it all the way through but nothing special came, until i decided to read again and pay more attention. When i did that again, I noticed the name that i saw on the email was BURTON, who Forbes told me was the one that found you, and at that exact time I saw a missionary’s face in my head, who was trained by my good companion in Pittsfield, right as i came to the island, whose name is also Burton…
I had about 10 different questions pop in my head and the thought of him being the son of the missionary who was with Forbes when he found you…. Because Forbes told me that Burton got transferred right after they found you. So I called Elder Payne who was not serving with Burton anymore but I asked him a few questions, to see if maybe it would hint to that possibility, of this Elder Burton being the son of the Burton who found you in Italy. The Spirit that i felt was so strong that i could not really describe it. As I asked the questions Payne answered them and asked me why i was asking that, and I told him that maybe BURTON’s father was the one that found you.
So then i called BURTON and i asked him the same questions and he answered the same way and we both basically started crying and could not believe the Spirit that we felt. I don’t know why i had this experience, but…ya… so his son is serving 40 minutes away from me. I don’t know if you remember him at all or if he ever found out weather you were baptized or not…but that was an experience for me…
I do not believe in chance, but at the same time I do not know exactly why this happened, but at least it was another great experience that my son, Luca, had in his mission. Really Mormon missionaries do the work of God, and when they serve faithfully, they are entitled to many blessings, including this type of experience that strengthens their testimony of the truth of the gospel and of the importance of serving missions for the Lord.
Oct
14
Prop 8 – Proposition 8, vote yes
October 14, 2008 | 3 Comments
These are a couple of very good videos about the importance of voting yes for proposition 8.
Young adults from California discuss their involvement in preserving traditional marriage.
Elder David A. Bednar and a group of young adults from California discuss Proposition 8.
Oct
13
Defending Marriage: Proposition 8 in California
October 13, 2008 | 1 Comment
Until 1977, California did not explicitly define marriage as being between a man and a woman, but court decisions, and some statutes assumed as much. In 1977, the legislature amended Civil Code section 4100 to read that marriage is “a personal relation arising out of a civil contract between a man and a woman”. In 2000, voters passed with 61% of the vote, ballot initiative Proposition 22, which changed the California Family Code to formally define marriage in California between a man and a woman. However, other laws have been passed by the legislature (since 1999) which recognize domestic partnerships and afford them some of the rights of marriage.
However, earlier this year, four activist judges in San Francisco wrongly overturned the people’s vote, legalizing same-sex marriage. On November 4, Californians will vote on an amendment to the state constitution that says “Only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California.” These are the same 14 words that were previously approved in 2000.
Because this is a moral issue, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mormon Church) is encouraging all Californians to vote for Proposition 8.
Members of the many churches and organizations that are participating in the Protect Marriage Coalition, including members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, are calling friends, family and fellow citizens in California to urge support of Proposition 8 to defend traditional marriage.
On June 20, 2008, the First Presidency of the Church distributed a letter about “Preserving Traditional Marriage and Strengthening Families,” announcing the Church’s participation with the coalition. The letter, which was read in sacrament meetings in California, asked that Church members “do all [they] can to support the proposed constitutional amendment.”
This video is from Next Gingrich:
There are two great videos and more information at:
In the first video young adults from California discuss their involvement in preserving traditional marriage.
In the second video there are segments from a Church broadcast to Californian Church members addressing the Church’s doctrine of marriage and the Protect Marriage Coalition.
Finally these are two good videos from Tony Perkins of the Family Research Council:
Oct
9
Who is the founder of the More Good Foundation?
October 9, 2008 | Leave a Comment
Yesterday a friend told me that he found something interesting about me at this website:
newyorktimesbestsellerlist.org
If we scroll down we can find one very nice video about the conversion story of brother Ott Dameron (my good neighbor)
and my own conversion story. The funny thing for my friend was that they titled my video by saying
Watch The founder of More Good Foundation, from Italy:
I have been working for the More Good Foundation from the beginning, and I am still doing it, but the real founder is David Neeleman, the famous Mormon, the same person who founded JetBlue and now Azul, in Brazil.
In any case, the website also call the Prophet, president Gordon B. Hinckley,
Revered President Hinckley…
We do not call “reverend” our prophets, but what is important is that they provided a great link to a very good video, where President Hinckley shares his testimony
Oct
8
Mormon Prophets about our economy
October 8, 2008 | Leave a Comment
It is a very troubling time for the US economy. This is a recent comment from the “money expert” Suze Orman:
We have built an entire economy on lies and deceit…It’s like building a home or an entire building on a sinkhole. You have a foundation, supposedly. But a little crack, if something goes wrong — a little earthquake, a tremor — and it starts to open, everything starts to fall down and … that is exactly what has happened in the United States of America.
Suze says the current financial downturn started all the way at the top of banks, mortgage companies and brokerage firms.
There was greed at the top — serious greed…When you have stocks, you have individual companies that want to make money. And CEOs want to make more money because the more money they make, the more their compensation is, the more their stock price goes up.
These companies made money by selling investments like mortgages to people who couldn’t afford them, Suze says (link to full article)
But is there a relationship between faith and church attendance and losing our homes? It probably depends on where we go to church and also how well we listen when we are there. According to an article on Time there may be some connection:
Has the so-called Prosperity gospel turned its followers into some of the most willing participants — and hence, victims — of the current financial crisis? That’s what a scholar of the fast-growing brand of Pentecostal Christianity believes. While researching a book on black televangelism, says Jonathan Walton, a religion professor at the University of California at Riverside, he realized that Prosperity’s central promise — that God will “make a way” for poor people to enjoy the better things in life — had developed an additional, dangerous expression during the subprime-lending boom. Walton says that this encouraged congregants who got dicey mortgages to believe “God caused the bank to ignore my credit score and blessed me with my first house.” The results, he says, “were disastrous, because they pretty much turned parishioners into prey for greedy brokers.”
I am sure that among Pentecostal and other religious groups not all were “turning parishioners into prey for greedy brokers”, but I am glad that in the Mormon church, Mormon Prophets have always been clear about avoiding debts and living within our means. Those Mormons who did or do otherwise cannot blame their leaders, but only themselves, because this message of frugality has been preached over and over again. However, I believe that most members of the Mormon church have followed the inspired counsels of their leaders and are ready for the troubles. It is a blessing to have leaders that are inspired and that receive revelations for out times.
This is a link to the videos of the last Mormon General Conference
Oct
7
How is going to look like the Rome Mormon Temple?
October 7, 2008 | 1 Comment
This post has been modified because I received a complaint about a picture. The picture was funny, nothing bad, but I understand that some people may not like it, and they are probably right. So, it has been removed. We will wait to see what the Rome Mormon Temple will really look like. It is a very sacred event and I do not want to create any problem. I tend to see the funny aspect of things, but at times it may not be appropriated.
This is a real picture of the land where the Rome temple will be built.
Oct
6
How the Mormon Missionaries found me
October 6, 2008 | Leave a Comment
I have written before about my conversion story and how I became a member of the Mormon Church.
This is a very interesting picture of the day of my baptism.. I was skinnier and younger, obviously
Elder Forbes, Giuseppe Martinengo, Elder Stout
Now Luca, my son, is in the mission field, looking for people like me, ready to accept the Gospel and the Church. My son had an exchange of emails with one of the two missionaries who taught me the gospel first, and the one who confirmed me a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
This is an excerpt from the email that was written by Lynn Forbes (Elder Forbes) about how he remembers those times:
I would be happy to share my recollection of how I met your dad…. It was sometime in December of 1984. I had only been in Italy a little over two months, so was still in the process of really learning Italian. Me and my senior companion (Elder Burton) were doing street contacting in Asti, where we would go to the busy streets and try to talk to people about the gospel, and arrange to visit them in their homes if they would let us. I actually think I remember some of our conversation with your dad on the street that morning. We would typically look for men who would be in the age range where they might be married, so your dad was younger than we might usually stop. I really believe that Heavenly Father knew your dad was ready for the gospel – so, we ended up stopping him anyway. I think I totally messed up what I wanted to say, but, somehow your dad invited us to come to his house with our message. It wasn’t until January that we ended up getting to talk to him. By that time, Elder Stout (I think you’ve met him) was my senior companion. I do remember the day that we finally spoke with your dad, because I wrote about it in my journal. That afternoon, we had been tracting (knocking doors) without much success. At one apartment building, we actually had a couple of interesting things happen to us – first, on one floor, after we knocked and told the person inside who we were, we heard a dog barking as someone who was angry was unlocking the door – we decided to leave that floor and go to another floor. On that floor, a lady got really angry with us and told us we better get out of the building or else. So, we left the building. As we left, that lady dumped a bucket of cleaning water on us from above. We talked about what we should do – and decided we would try to pass by some of our street contacting names. Your dad was the one we decided to see (he was only a name on a sheet of paper, at that time). Anyway, we went by his place (his mother’s home), and he let us in, and we taught him the first discussion. We asked him to read from 3 Nephi (Christ’s visit) and we made an appointment to return in a couple of days. When we came back, he had read all of 3 Nephi, and had started at the first of the Book of Mormon. He said he knew it was true and that he wanted to be baptized. It seems like we returned every day, or every other day for a week or so. He finished the BofM soon. The only problem we ran into was his mom. Because of her, we put off his baptism until February – she was still very angry – you probably know that part of the story from your dad. But, he ended up being baptized. Elder Stout baptized him and I confirmed him. His confirmation is still one of the times of my life that I felt the Spirit the strongest. I don’t think that Elder Stout and I were “special” missionaries. We were just out, doing our best, and Heavenly Father did the rest. That is the key to missionary work, I think – to be out “opening your mouth” and doing your best – it sounds like you’ve learned that. I’m glad you are having a great mission – seeing the gospel change people’s lives – it really is a beautiful thing. You will look back on your mission as a great time in your life – when you had the privilege of devoting all your time to the Lord. There will be times in the future when you will miss that.